Miracles

I am so blessed to be given the opportunity to love this wee one, who is not mine by birth, but by love. I cherish the moments that I am able to sit in the NICU holding this precious baby, singing lullabies, and praying over her. She, along with my other six children, are the greatest gifts I could have ever asked for.

There are some that do not understand why my husband and I would choose to foster/adopt such a medically fragile child, as our own. They ask of us "do you know what the possibilities are for her to have significant developmental problems?", "do you know what you are doing?", "have you really thought about your and your other kids' futures if you adopt her?"

While we understand the concern is out of love for us, we do know. We know that Olivia was created by God, for a special purpose. We know that God gave His son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice, for all of us, so that we may have life eternal. We know that this road we are on is not going to be easy, and has already been filled with heartache. We know that each step we take, on this journey of adopting out of foster care, God is with us. I am not standing on my soap box, in judgement of those who do not walk the same path as us. I am not standing on my soapbox thinking that I am better than anyone else. We are all called by God to serve in different ways. This is our calling.

I have many moments of doubt, and ask myself why...why did we do this. The answer lies in the "I lub you mom" that our almost 3 year old says to me, as I pray with him each night. The answer lies in the bear hug from our 16 month old, and the big wet kiss that is planted on my cheek. The answer lies in the love that I see in my four bio kids, as they embrace their new brothers and pray for their new baby sister.

While we have many unanswered questions, and many unknowns in our future, I know that Christ's unending love for us, and His strength will be our strength along this journey. For this, I am so thankful.

Sweet Little Olivia

Heavenly Father,

You created Olivia and knew her while she was in the womb. You loved her before any of us did. I pray that you will continue to give her strength, strong lungs, and that your conversations with her while she sleeps are sweet. Lord I pray that you will be glorified through her amazing story. Amen

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
Psalms 139: 13-14

praise You in this storm

I was sure by now

That You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen",

and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

Praise You in this Storm- Casting Crowns

Dear Lord,

My heart is breaking today, as we have been told that we will not be able to adopt our little boys. I am so sad. Thank you for your faithfulness, even when I am overwhelmed by this sadness. Please bring peace. Amen

trust

Trust...it is such an easy thing to say, but such a difficult thing to do. I am continually struggling to trust in the One, who is the only One that won't let me down. I battle the demons of doubt-my husband won't be able to find work, we will lose our boys, we will sink into a financial pit. I know that we are called to
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5,6
I find myself talking to friends saying that I will just have to trust, yet it is all words. I am not trusting in God right now. I am trying to control it all. I am panicking, and not allowing God to work in these situations. In all actuality, God is working, I am just blind, because I am choosing to run in fear. I am choosing to try figure things out on my own. I am choosing to doubt that God can handle it. Forgive me Father.

Dear Lord,
I have taken back the reigns, and I am running wild. I am trying to control my life instead of allowing You to work in me and the situations that we are in. I am sorry. Father God, I give you my life...again. Please give me peace, and a not so gentle shove when I push away from You, and run in the ways of the world. Lord, I pray that my eyes will be open to all that you are doing in my life, and the lives of others around me. I pray that I will seek and see your guidance. Lord, above all, I pray that my life will be a shining example of your love, to others. This world is not about me, and my comforts, but about bringing glory to you. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness. Thank you for your love. Amen

Glory in the Highest

Lord, I praise You for...

your gift of blood that you shed for me so many years ago,
the rising sun shining on Pike's Peak in the morning,
my husband, whom I can't imagine a day without,
my precious children that you have blessed me with,
my precious children, whom I do not yet know their names,
the freedom to lift my hands in adoration,
my family that lives so far away, yet so near to my heart,
my friends that have become my family,
the smell of autumn,
the glitter of frost on a blade of grass,
a steaming cup of coffee,
laughter that shakes my belly even when I wish I had no belly to shake,
the love my children show to each other when they think no one is looking,
a tender kiss from my husband,
a quiet moment,
Your word.

Lord, I praise You because You are.

Psalm 150
Praise the LORD! Praise God in his heavenly dwelling; praise him in his mighty heaven! Praise him for his mighty works; praise his unequaled greatness! Praise him with a blast of the trumpet; praise him with the lyre and harp! Praise him with the tambourine and dancing; praise him with stringed instruments and flutes! Praise him with a clash of cymbals; praise him with loud clanging cymbals. Let everything that lives sing praises to the LORD! Praise the LORD!