where are You?

Lake Blaine Jr. Girls' Bible Camp 1983

Janelle D., Dani B., Jamie, Kristin Z.

Lake Blaine Jr. High Bible Camp 1987

Earlier this week, one of my kids was having a pretty rough day, evidenced by the frustration and tears over things typically dismissed without a second thought. As I observed the escalating situation, I chalked it up to either being a teenage girl or just being a girl. So, after all the other kiddos were tucked into bed, she and I hung out for a little bit to try to resolve the important issues of the evening. I can honestly say that much of the problem was out of whack estrogen levels. Ugh, I remember those days well. (Who am I kidding? I still have those days!)


As we finished our talk about important girl things, and I was preparing to tuck her in, she asked one more question. "Mom, don't you ever wonder where God is? Like, there are times that I feel his presence, but right now, I just can't even feel Him. I don't even know if He hears me when I pray." Oh boy...a mom moment that I was not even remotely ready for. I quickly said a prayer in my head, asking that the Holy Spirit would intercede and give me the right words to say. In a fraction of a second, I remembered a conversation from years before, (I am talking years...all the way back to jr. girls bible camp) that my bunk mates and I had, after the lights were turned out, and we were supposed to be sleeping.


One of my friends shared with us the picture of God being like the wind. There are times in our lives, that His presence is so strong, it is like trying to stand in a category 5 hurricane, and being brought to our knees. There are other times, that His presence is a gentle breeze, peacefully rocking us to sleep during an afternoon nap in a hammock. Most commonly for me, are the times that the air around me is still. It is in these times that I have had to dig deep into my faith, and remember that God promises to never leave us. We may not feel Him, but He is waiting on us to call on Him, and acknowledge Him in our lives.


I had forgotten all about those moments of sharing, in a dark dorm room at Lake Blaine Bible Camp, yet, twenty-some years later, God jarred my memory. I now wonder if my conversation with L. was really about her, or was it purposed for me-a reminder in times of stillness, that He is steadfast and true, never leaving my side.


Thank you Lord, for my L., who has a heart that loves you. Thank you that she is willing to share with me her struggles. Thank you that through her struggles, You have taught me to trust in Your faithfulness again. Thank you for my childhood friend, who at such a young age, shared with me a story that would then be shared with others years later. ~Amen