Long Journey Home

~Happy Birthday~

2010-02-20T10:50:00.000-08:00

Happy 14th Birthday Payton!

"Heaven blew every trumpet

and played every horn

on the wonderful, marvelous

night you were born."

~On the Night You Were Born, by Nancy Tillman

I love you so much Payton-you are a reason to celebrate! Love, Mom

For you are fearfully and wonderfully made...

Psalm 139

Firsts...

2010-01-28T21:26:00.000-08:00

~ pony tails ~

~ giggles ~

~ teeth ... and taste of cereal ~

~ saucer ride ~

~ sounds ~

Dear Lord,

Thank you for giving us these cherished firsts! Thank you for continuing to amaze us with your provision - physically and emotionally. ~Amen

The Latest Happenings

2009-11-01T07:04:00.000-08:00

I always have the best intentions of staying current with the blogging, but late at night when I think "I should post a new blog...it has been a while", Mr. Sandman visits, and before I know it, I am being tapped on my forehead by little fingers informing me of an empty, rumbling tummy. So this will be a post of updates and pics from the past month.

Lauren went to her first Homecoming this year. She looked beautiful, and had a fabulous time. I can't help but ask myself - how in the world can I have a child that is a freshman in high school?

My parents came to visit over Fall Break. We had a great time visiting, playing, and eating. Olivia got to meet Nanny and Bumpa for the first time. She was actually very smiley for them, although one can't tell by looking at the picture!

This past week, Colorado was hit with an October winter storm. At our house, we got over 2 feet of snow! The kids had 3 snow days off from school, and had a great time building a snow fort in the front yard. Yesterday, the sun was shining and the temp was above 50 degrees. I am not going to complain about the sun, but now our yard is a big muddy mess.

Olivia is still in the hospital, but is scheduled to come home around November 16th. Not much has changed with her health. She had a second heart cath 2 weeks ago, and some of her pulmonary veins had restenosed. The doctor was able to dilate them again, and is very pleased with the results. Since her hospitalization in September, Liv had lost some of her developmental milestones. The doctors have been concerned that she has some developmental delays due to her lack of oxygen and sedation, but she is proving them all wrong. She is back rolling and reaching for her toys. Praise God!!! We are so anxious to bring her home...November 16th can't come fast enough!

Olivia

2009-10-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

On September 11th, Olivia was admitted into The Children's Hospital in Denver. Although initially thought to have an infection of some kind, we learned that she was overloaded with fluids and was struggling to blow off the CO2 in her lungs causing her to be in respiratory distress. About two weeks ago, an echocardiogram was taken of Liv's heart, and the cardiologist noticed a narrowing of some of her main vessels. This past Friday, Liv underwent a cardiac catheterization to look at her heart and vessels. So sadly we heard something we didn't ever want to hear. Olivia has a rare cardiac condition called Pulmonary Vein Stenosis. It is a condition in which her pulmonary veins, which carry oxygenated blood from her lungs to her heart, have an abnormal growth of cells which are obstructing the blood flow. While the cardiologist was able to dilate her veins a little, the cells will continue to regrow and continue blocking her bloodflow. The cardiologist said that the cell recurrence is typically very aggressive, and that there is no cure. Liv's prognosis is not good.

We are praying and preparing for Olivia to come home in the next couple weeks. We are so excited for that day to come.

Our situation is difficult because we have no legal say in Olivia's medical care, or any planning for her future. These important medical decisions will be made by either her biological mother, whose rights have not yet been terminated, or by the Department of Human Services.

These are our prayers. That Olivia will be kept comfortable, and that whatever time we have left with her will be filled with happiness and joy. That our family will lean on God, and not lose sight of the many blessings He has given to us. We pray for Shon and Cory, Liv's biological brothers, who will suffer yet another loss in their young lives. Prayer for Shon, Cory, and Liv's bio mom, who too, will suffer another loss. We pray for Lauren, Payton, Maggie, and Faith and that they will feel God's arms of love surrounding them, and that they will not be afraid to love others.

We are praying for a miracle, but realize that our plans are not always Gods. Thank you for your prayers throughout this amazing time in our lives. We thank God for you!

~ life ~ love ~ family ~

2009-08-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:13-16

It has been four weeks since my last post, and so much has happened. On July 30th, Jon and I took Shon and Cory to meet their baby sister for the first time. Cory thought Olivia was his "baby", and could not give her enough kisses. Shon, on the other hand was very anxious and afraid to get close to her. He was completely content to sit on the stool and watch the activity in the NICU.

On August 3rd, Olivia had a G-button feeding tube put into her stomach. She has always been a great eater, but since her trach, she has not had the stamina to finish her bottles. In order for her to continue to grow and thrive, she needed the GB tube to give her the remaining formula that she doesn't finish.

On Friday August 14th, after almost 6 months, we finally got to bring Olivia home. It was a very exciting and anxious day. We arrived at the hospital at noon, signed discharge paperwork, put Olivia in her carseat, loaded the van with more medical equipment than I can describe, tearfully said goodbye to the amazing doctors and nurses at St. Joseph's NICU, and headed home with our fragile little one.

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I am in awe of little Liv who was only 1 lb. 9 oz. at birth, but is now 11 lbs. 9 oz. I watch her as she sleeps and as she is loved and played with by my husband and kids. I truly believe that she is a little miracle and God has great things planned for her. I thank God that He has blessed us with her life.

furlough

2009-07-22T21:58:00.001-07:00

As evidenced by the last time I posted, I have decided to take a small bit of time off from my blog. I feel that there is a lot going on in my life right now, and to be perfectly honest-I have a serious case of writer's block. I started my blog as a journal, and it is my desire that it will never be just empty words. I am hoping to begin blogging again in the next week, when I have had time to reflect on all the happenings in my life. So until then...

tired

2009-07-07T19:46:00.000-07:00

tired- drained of strength and energy : fatigued often to the point of exhaustion (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary)

This describes me today. I am exhausted. I am tired of packing, moving, and cleaning. I look forward to getting settled into our new house, but really, I am looking forward to my head hitting the pillow...in about 5 minutes.

A day to rejoice

2009-06-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

I was able to hold Liv today for the first time since she had a trach put in. It was so much fun to be able to hold her and actually see her face without all the extras on it. Liv even nippled a bottle tonight-only 12 cc, but a great start! We don't know what the future holds for Liv, and if she will be able to come home without the vent, but we do know that she is a little miracle!

Happy Birthday!

2009-06-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

"Hey! Can I get someone to cut in here?"

Happy Birthday Paul-Thanks for the dance! I love you~Misty

fear

2009-06-24T17:38:00.000-07:00

Jon and I were told about a month ago, that the kids' (Shon, Cory, and Liv) current caseworker had been transferred to another department, and that we would be receiving a new worker. We were saddened by the news because we love our Lily so much. Lily is much like her name suggests. She is young, excited to work each case, full of smiles and laughter...she is a beautiful person. She loves the kiddos immensely.

After much anticipation, we finally met our new caseworker yesterday. It is hard to describe our new caseworker without sounding a bit judgemental, so I will just refrain from a description. I will say this about her though. She has been with the department for 19 years, and she has incredible amounts of experience. She appears to be very knowledgable about the legal aspects of foster care and adoption, and because of this knowledge, I believe this will be good for our case.

My whole point that I am trying to make with all this is that because of this change in caseworkers, fear has crept in again. Fear is like mold on berries. If not caught immediately, and removed from the fruit, before you know it...the entire basket is covered in fuzz. This is how I feel today. Full of fear, and anxiety, and fuzzy from the emotional roller coaster of fostering to adopt.

My fears started when *Sue told me that she would have to reconsider placing the boys, with family in Texas. WHAT!!! We had been told that the decision to keep the boys with us was already made, but according to Sue, she can overturn that decision if she feels it is in the best interest of the boys. Well of course it is not in their best interest. I mean...come on... we all know that!

So here I am, feeling as sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, and anxious as I did clear back in November, when we were first informed of biological family even existing in the great big picture. Once again, I want to take control and find any kind of negative information that I can on the family in TX, and make sure that there is no way they will get the boys. I have to remind myself-this is not my place.

God's word is very clear: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:6-8

So tonight, I am picking the moldy berries out of my basket, washing the few remaining good fruit, and tearfully praying for clarity, Godly wisdom, self control, peace, and that God's will be done.

*Fictitious name

~happy father's day~

2009-06-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

~my husband~

~my dad~

~my father-in-law~

Happy Father's day to the three most important dads in my life.

I love you!

this is the day that the Lord has made

2009-06-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

Sweet baby Liv. She came into this world in February, at just a mere 24 weeks gestation. She weighed 1 lb. 9 oz., and was 11 inches long. Yesterday, we celebrated her actual due date. She is now 40 weeks and 1 day old (corrected gestational age), but by birthdate 4 months old. She now weighs 7 lbs! She is a little miracle. Liv has defied the odds, and we are so thankful for her. Liv is still in the neonatal intensive care unit, and her homecoming day is still unknown. While she is growing like a weed, her little lungs are still struggling.

As I sit in the NICU staring, marveling at her little body, I can't help but have mixed feelings. My heart breaks for Liv's biological mother, who struggles to care for herself. My heart breaks for Liv, and the piece of her life that she will always miss, her twin brother, who passed away at 13 days old. I am amazed at Liv's strength, and determination. The doctors and nurses call her fiesty, but I know that she is more than fiesty. God has great things planned for her.

Our decision to adopt through foster care, has been an emotional roller coaster. To be completely honest, today is a day that I am emotionally tapped out. The tears hit at the drop of a hat, and I can't really explain why. I long for the day that I won't have to drive the 40 miles to the hospital to hold our new little one. I eagerly await the day that the doctors greet us with smiles and tell us she is healthy enough to go home. I am so excited to watch the faces of our 6 other children, our 4 bio kids and Liv's 2 bio brothers, when we walk through the doors of our home carrying their new baby sister.

Today, I am tired, but it is good. Tomorrow is a new day, and my God is faithful, and gives me strength to get through each new day, and each new adventure. I am blessed with 7 incredible kids, and an incredible husband. I am so thankful.

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

look away for just a second...

2009-06-12T08:21:00.000-07:00

...and you get a sweet smile of satisfaction!

summer

2009-06-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

Oh yes...it is that time of year when the sunshine brings out the best in all of us. We seem to lose the winter blahs and find the need to brighten things up a little bit.

I, for one, always decide when June rolls around that blondes must have more fun. I can't honestly say that the statement is true, but a new do certainly is fun! (Thank you Amy and Dayna!) The gray is gone, but those caterpillars above my eyes...yikes!

The other great thing that I love about summer is...

FLIP FLOP FEET!

There are those who are blessed with beautiful feet...NOT ME! My feet look like they should be attached to Barney Rubble's ankles. They are as wide as they are long. My nails don't seem to ever grow to the end of my toes, and I have this funny little pinky toe that is quite triangular. But over the years, I have grown to love my feet.

I love the tan lines that appear after a week of wearing flip flops every day. I love my fat big toe-it makes me laugh. I love the way all my toes form a straight line. I love to paint my toenails with fun colors, flowers, and sparkles. I love comparing my feet to others I see.

Yes, these feet are definitely a family trait. My brother C. has almost identical feet to mine. A little bigger and quite a bit hairier, but paint those toenails pink and you wouldn't know to whom they belong.

So the next time you are at the beach, the mall, the grocery store, maybe even church-check out your neighbors feet. Another fabulous way that our Creator made us all unique!

our day at the Platte

2009-06-05T20:34:00.001-07:00

We took the crew for a drive, in search of some freshwater to play in. After driving for about 45 minutes through Pike National Forest, we finally found this. We pulled off the road, laid out our blanket for a picnic, and splashed in the water. The river was still a little cold from the mountain runoff, but the kiddo's Montana blood handled it just fine...

siblings

2009-05-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet

~ vietnamese proverb

~ through the years ~

2009-05-28T07:09:00.000-07:00

1992

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Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
~Gene Perret

1994

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1995
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1996
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2000

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2001
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2002
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2003
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2005
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2006

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2007
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2008
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2009

God, the best maker of all marriages,
Combine your hearts into one.
~ William Shakespeare

Celebrating 15 years of marriage-thanking God for many more to come!

cousins

2009-05-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

Cousins are those childhood playmates who grow up to be forever friends.

~Anonymous

Thank you Lord for my dear cousin and friend!

encouragement

2009-05-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

another day in paradise...

2009-05-07T12:19:00.001-07:00

I know that I am not the only mom, that when life is just so crazy busy, the only quiet time I get is when I shut myself in the loo. This quiet milli-moment is usually interrupted by a knock on the door or a "Mom!" being bellowed from another room on the opposite side of the house. There are times, that I keep the light off and enjoy the escalating voices wondering where I am. I am not complaining. As a matter of fact, I usually (admittedly not always) find humor in the crazy happenings of my days, and often find myself laughing out loud, the kids believing that I have lost my mind (and maybe I have)! Let me explain.

On Tuesday morning I rolled out of bed, made my way to the bathroom, and with a sideways glance in the mirror, could see that something was not quite right with my face. In all honesty, something was seriously wrong. No, I am not talking about the sheet wrinkles that on a daily basis, take a good hour to disappear. I am talking about my entire left eye being puffy and a bit mishapen. I take a good look and realize that I am not lucky enough to claim pink eye, a stye, or even a cold. My eye is swollen because I slept on my left side all night, and with age and water retention, my face just doesn't recover like it used to.

Oh well...I shower, put off putting on my makeup in order to let the puffiness subside, and head downstairs to tackle the day. On my way through the family room, I pass what my husband commonly refers to as the community dresser. *see photo With good intentions, I had decided to wash clothes all day Monday, pile them on the old couch, and sit down Monday night to watch some wholesome quality television, and fold the massive pile of clothes. My good intentions did not materialize, and for the next 3 days, every time I passed the mammoth pile of clothes, I heard Alabama playing in my mind "one day I'm gonna climb that mountain".

The day carried on...I had two sick kiddos, one still in diapers, whose tummy was disagreeable with everything, and who's dirty diapers filled our garage with an aroma that only a person with an iron gut could stomach. By 10 o'clock, I had ran carpool, vacuumed up a bucket o' beads, changed my shirt thanks to a handful of soggy cereal being smashed in a very strategic location, attempted to tape back together school papers that had been set on syrupy leftovers on the counter, and stolen a moment to call the NICU and check on the little one. By 2 o'clock, I had made bead necklaces with preschoolers, served and cleaned up lunch, realized that I still had no makeup on, and was finishing up my 12th cup of coffee while visiting with the caseworker, when my C. decided to tell us what an elephant says, and proceeded to spray us with a mouthful of milk. I am so thankful for a fabulous caseworker, who loves children, and laughed with me as we wiped milk off our faces. By 5 o'clock, I had ran carpool, started dinner, helped with homework, covered a skinned knee with a kiss and a band-aid, and consoled my M. whose bleeding heart was adamant that we needed to take the newborn bird found in a nest in our backyard to the vet. In my quest to be a grounded logical mom, I gently explained that baby birds are supposed to be left in their nest, and well..."if it doesn't survive, then it is just natural selection". For some reason, this didn't seem to help.

By 9 o'clock, with the little boys sound asleep, and the big kiddos' tucked in with prayers said, I decided to drag my weary bones to bed. As I lay in bed, I took a few moments to reflect on the day's events. I realized that the daily marathon is good for the soul. I am not perfect, and believe me when I tell you, I don't always laugh and somedays don't even give a hint of a smile when my days are so chaotic. I do believe that if I stop, take a deep breath, and look at my world with rose-colored lenses, I see all the blessings that surround me. So for tonight, as I get ready to visit dreamland, I look forward to another day in paradise...

Psalm 127:3-5 NLT
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!

where are You?

2009-04-29T12:36:00.001-07:00

Lake Blaine Jr. Girls' Bible Camp 1983

Janelle D., Dani B., Jamie, Kristin Z.

Lake Blaine Jr. High Bible Camp 1987

Earlier this week, one of my kids was having a pretty rough day, evidenced by the frustration and tears over things typically dismissed without a second thought. As I observed the escalating situation, I chalked it up to either being a teenage girl or just being a girl. So, after all the other kiddos were tucked into bed, she and I hung out for a little bit to try to resolve the important issues of the evening. I can honestly say that much of the problem was out of whack estrogen levels. Ugh, I remember those days well. (Who am I kidding? I still have those days!)

As we finished our talk about important girl things, and I was preparing to tuck her in, she asked one more question. "Mom, don't you ever wonder where God is? Like, there are times that I feel his presence, but right now, I just can't even feel Him. I don't even know if He hears me when I pray." Oh boy...a mom moment that I was not even remotely ready for. I quickly said a prayer in my head, asking that the Holy Spirit would intercede and give me the right words to say. In a fraction of a second, I remembered a conversation from years before, (I am talking years...all the way back to jr. girls bible camp) that my bunk mates and I had, after the lights were turned out, and we were supposed to be sleeping.

One of my friends shared with us the picture of God being like the wind. There are times in our lives, that His presence is so strong, it is like trying to stand in a category 5 hurricane, and being brought to our knees. There are other times, that His presence is a gentle breeze, peacefully rocking us to sleep during an afternoon nap in a hammock. Most commonly for me, are the times that the air around me is still. It is in these times that I have had to dig deep into my faith, and remember that God promises to never leave us. We may not feel Him, but He is waiting on us to call on Him, and acknowledge Him in our lives.

I had forgotten all about those moments of sharing, in a dark dorm room at Lake Blaine Bible Camp, yet, twenty-some years later, God jarred my memory. I now wonder if my conversation with L. was really about her, or was it purposed for me-a reminder in times of stillness, that He is steadfast and true, never leaving my side.

Thank you Lord, for my L., who has a heart that loves you. Thank you that she is willing to share with me her struggles. Thank you that through her struggles, You have taught me to trust in Your faithfulness again. Thank you for my childhood friend, who at such a young age, shared with me a story that would then be shared with others years later. ~Amen

best seat in the whole house

2009-04-24T11:34:00.000-07:00

need I say more...have a blessed weekend!

forgiveness

2009-04-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

My camera is one of my most prized possessions. I use it to capture the moments around me so that I may not forget. Yesterday, I had a magnificent photo opportunity and when I ran to grab the camera, it was gone. I panicked, knowing that I had not used it since the day before, putting it away in the exact same spot I always keep it, to be sure to have it for the next time. I searched the house high and low. I sifted through junk drawers (more than I wish to admit), cabinets, and kids bedrooms. I called my husband and my oldest daughter, all in hopes that they might have used it and set it somewhere. When I finally came to the realization that it really was gone, I prayed that God would show me where to look.

About two hours later, I remembered that my baby boy has a fascination with the garbage as of late. He likes to throw things in with force, and watch the lid spin. He will throw anything in just for the thrill and then stand there clapping his hands.

I dug through the garbage praying. There, at the bottom of the bag, under two days worth of household trash was my camera. It was safe in its case, but covered in coffee grounds, diapers, and other nasties.

As I stood at the sink, wiping all the gunk off of my camera, I pictured how God must feel when I am "found", seek forgiveness, and give my life back to Him. We are God's most prized possessions. When I return to Him, He must smile, and happily stand at the sink of my life and wipe off the dirt and grime that I have picked up in this world. He longs for us to be in a relationship with Him. His desire for us is to live a life that is pleasing and glorifying to Him, so that others may get a picture of His love.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your unending forgiveness and the wiping away of all my sin. Thank you for washing me as white as snow, over and over and over. Thank you for leading me to my camera, and showing me in a way that my mind can understand, how great Your love is for me. Amen

Adoption

2009-04-21T09:08:00.001-07:00

Adoption...something near and dear to my heart.

In May of 2006, our family decided to take the leap, and move forward with the decision to pursue adopting out of the Colorado foster care system. We had been researching different avenues by which to go, and heard about Project 1.27. Below is a video about Project 1.27.
Please take the time to watch it.

God loves children. But for 80 years too many children and youth have been languishing in the U.S. foster care system. That’s too long. Over 120,000* of them are legally free for adoption and waiting for their forever homes and every year their numbers keep growing. It’s costing taxpayers $283 million a day! ~video and excerpt taken from Project127.com *2005 statistic

Statistics for 2007 show that 496,000 children were served by the national foster care system. 287,000 exited the system by either "aging out"or being placed back with family, while 130,000 of those are waiting for forever families. (AFCARS 2007)

There are so many ways to help these children in need. If you feel called to open your hearts and homes by way of foster care or foster to adopt you can contact your local department of human services. You may also visit the following links:

http://www.adoptex.org/

http://www.adoptuskids.org/

http://www.project127.com/

Not everyone is called to foster or adopt, but we all can pray. Please pray for the families that do feel called to foster/adopt. Please pray for the children in need of safe homes. The statistics can be overwhelming, but our God is bigger than anything.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress... James 1:27

He Lives!

2009-04-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

Every year at this time, the store shelves are lined with colorful confections to fill our baskets. It is a time, that makes me long to be with my family to celebrate the Easter holiday. For as long as I can remember, these little marshmallow delights have been nestled in our baskets, clinging to the plastic grass, and standing guard over the speckled malt balls, jelly beans, and other random sweets the easter bunny brought us. As young children, my brothers, sister, and I would wake up and race to see how much sugar we could consume before Mom and Dad put a stop to it all.

Even more, I remember getting all dressed up in our finest to attend the Easter service at our home church. One year, I had the entire ensemble complete with white sun hat and gloves. Inevitably I would somehow end up with a hole in my new tights, and a giant scuff across the toes of my once shiny patent leather shoes. (I do believe that if Mom took me shopping for Easter shoes today, she would still gravitate toward the patent leather!)

The sweetest memory of all is standing with the congregation, being led by the local weatherman, singing the great hymn He Lives! To this day, I still get goose bumps when I sing that song, knowing that not only is Christ my personal Savior, but that He was crucified and resurrected to save the entire human race! This Sunday is about so much more than Easter baskets, sweet treats, egg hunts, and even spending time with family. This Sunday is a celebration of the eternal life that we all can have because our Savior lives!

I serve a risen Saviour; He's in the world today.
I know that He is living, whatever men may say.
I see His hand of mercy, I hear His voice of cheer,
And just the time I need Him He's always near.

He lives! He lives! Christ Jesus lives today!
He walks with me and talks with me along life's narrow way.
He lives! He lives! Salvation to impart!
You ask me how I know He lives? He lives within my heart.

In all the world around me I see His loving care,
And though my heart grows weary I never will despair.
I know that He is leading, thro' all the stormy blast;
The day of His appearing will come at last.

Rejoice, rejoice, O Christian! Lift up your voice and sing
Eternal hallelujahs to Jesus Christ, the King!
The Hope of all who seek Him, the Help of all who find,
None other is so loving, so good and kind.

~ Alfred H. Ackley

good medicine

2009-04-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

Each night, before I lay my head on my pillow and drift off to dreamland, I try to give myself a few minutes of "me" time. This usually means checking my email, perusing the hometown paper, and catching up on the most recent writings of my favorite blogs.

A few nights ago, I found myself taking a walk down memory lane, as I read the continuously funny blog of my cousin's great, sometimes warped mind. It was not just her quick wit, and creative writing that took me back, but it was the picture she posted. I had to call her. I was so glad that at 10 o'clock, I did not wake her, but if I had, it definitely would have been worth it.

Together, we went back to our childhood, at times laughing so hard we could barely talk. I had to resort to using the sheet on my bed to dry the tears that cascaded down my cheeks, as we reminisced about the idiosyncracies of childhood, that inevitably follow us into adulthood. It felt so good to laugh so hard. After a long, tiring day-it was good medicine.

Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle

thankful

2009-04-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

Lord,

Thank you for your healing touch. Thank you for your peace when the things of this world become so overwhelming. I pray that my eyes will stay focused on You, and that You will be glorified. Amen

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

Helen H. Lemmel, 1922

Miracles

2009-04-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

I am so blessed to be given the opportunity to love this wee one, who is not mine by birth, but by love. I cherish the moments that I am able to sit in the NICU holding this precious baby, singing lullabies, and praying over her. She, along with my other six children, are the greatest gifts I could have ever asked for.

There are some that do not understand why my husband and I would choose to foster/adopt such a medically fragile child, as our own. They ask of us "do you know what the possibilities are for her to have significant developmental problems?", "do you know what you are doing?", "have you really thought about your and your other kids' futures if you adopt her?"

While we understand the concern is out of love for us, we do know. We know that Olivia was created by God, for a special purpose. We know that God gave His son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice, for all of us, so that we may have life eternal. We know that this road we are on is not going to be easy, and has already been filled with heartache. We know that each step we take, on this journey of adopting out of foster care, God is with us. I am not standing on my soap box, in judgement of those who do not walk the same path as us. I am not standing on my soapbox thinking that I am better than anyone else. We are all called by God to serve in different ways. This is our calling.

I have many moments of doubt, and ask myself why...why did we do this. The answer lies in the "I lub you mom" that our almost 3 year old says to me, as I pray with him each night. The answer lies in the bear hug from our 16 month old, and the big wet kiss that is planted on my cheek. The answer lies in the love that I see in my four bio kids, as they embrace their new brothers and pray for their new baby sister.

While we have many unanswered questions, and many unknowns in our future, I know that Christ's unending love for us, and His strength will be our strength along this journey. For this, I am so thankful.

Sweet Little Olivia

2009-03-26T14:06:00.001-07:00

Heavenly Father,

You created Olivia and knew her while she was in the womb. You loved her before any of us did. I pray that you will continue to give her strength, strong lungs, and that your conversations with her while she sleeps are sweet. Lord I pray that you will be glorified through her amazing story. Amen

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
Psalms 139: 13-14

peace

2009-02-20T07:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the sweet peace you have given to us this week. To You be all glory! Amen

praise You in this storm

2009-02-11T21:00:00.000-08:00

I was sure by now

That You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen",

and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

Praise You in this Storm- Casting Crowns

Dear Lord,

My heart is breaking today, as we have been told that we will not be able to adopt our little boys. I am so sad. Thank you for your faithfulness, even when I am overwhelmed by this sadness. Please bring peace. Amen

trust

2009-02-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

Trust...it is such an easy thing to say, but such a difficult thing to do. I am continually struggling to trust in the One, who is the only One that won't let me down. I battle the demons of doubt-my husband won't be able to find work, we will lose our boys, we will sink into a financial pit. I know that we are called to
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5,6
I find myself talking to friends saying that I will just have to trust, yet it is all words. I am not trusting in God right now. I am trying to control it all. I am panicking, and not allowing God to work in these situations. In all actuality, God is working, I am just blind, because I am choosing to run in fear. I am choosing to try figure things out on my own. I am choosing to doubt that God can handle it. Forgive me Father.

Dear Lord,
I have taken back the reigns, and I am running wild. I am trying to control my life instead of allowing You to work in me and the situations that we are in. I am sorry. Father God, I give you my life...again. Please give me peace, and a not so gentle shove when I push away from You, and run in the ways of the world. Lord, I pray that my eyes will be open to all that you are doing in my life, and the lives of others around me. I pray that I will seek and see your guidance. Lord, above all, I pray that my life will be a shining example of your love, to others. This world is not about me, and my comforts, but about bringing glory to you. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness. Thank you for your love. Amen

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2009-02-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

The following posts are out of order. These are my very first posts. When attempting to rework the blog they ended up here-oops-I don't know how to correct the issue...oh well:)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

For quite some time I have been debating about starting this blog. A place to put my thoughts down, share my feelings, or just blabber on about my sometimes crazy, but usually normal life.

I have been blessed with a loving husband, four beautiful children, a dog, two birds, one hamster, and one gecko. I drive the average family style minivan, complete with automatic garbage removal when both sidedoors are open. We live in an average middle income house, in suburban Colorado Springs. Most mornings when I hit the snooze button, I lay in bed and pray about my day. I thank God for all His provisions, pray for my children and husband, pray that God would lead me in my role as wife, mom, preschool teacher, friend.

This morning something was different. I could barely stay alert enough to utter my prayer. I didn't want to get up and face the challenges of the day. I longed to put my pillow over my head, and drift back into dreamland, back to the beautiful beaches of Hawaii, back to the paradise that was so abruptly interrupted by my buzzing alarm.I rolled out of bed to hungry children, dishes piled high in the sink from the night before, mountains of dirty laundry, phone ringing off the hook, stack of bills that needed to be paid, and a very discontent spirit.

My thoughts immediately went to how wonderful it would be to have just a little bit more money. We might be able to buy a new washing machine, rather than having to wait for the repairman to visit. If we had just a little more money, I could buy the fall decorations that I want for my house, afterall, I love the compliments I receive on my decorating skills. If we had just a little more money, I could pay to get my hair cut and colored sooner than later. If we had just a little more money, I could buy the Gap clothes for my children that they need so badly.I carried on with my day living in self pity and gluttony. I chose to wallow in a dark world, where materialism and greed had taken over. God allowed me to dwell there, and when His timing was perfect, opened my eyes to the reality of blessings poured out to me.

At my daughter's parent teacher conference, we were given a newspaper article she had written about herself. In it she wrote about her hero. "My hero is my Dad. He is the one who protects me. He also is funny. He feeds me and loves me. That is why he is my hero."

Using the words of a 10 year old, God opened my eyes to my shallow, selfish heart. I was wanting all the "stuff" of this world, when my Heavenly Father had already given me all that I need. He is my refuge, He protects me. He is my provider, He feeds me. He is my Abba father, He loves me.

Lord, forgive me for my selfishness, for my gluttony, for my hard heart, for my discontent. Thank you that in your mercy and grace you show me that You are everything I need. Amen

"...for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content." Philippians 4:11Posted by misty at 10:31 PM 0 comments

Fall

2009-02-01T16:27:00.000-08:00

Monday, October 15, 2007

"This is my Father's world, and to my listening ears

all nature sings, and round me rings

the music of the spheres.

This is my Father's world:

I rest me in the thought

of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;

his hand the wonders wrought." This is My Father's World-by Maltie D. Babcock
Posted by misty at 5:35 PM 0 comments
Labels: faith, fall

sweet slumber

2009-01-30T14:01:00.000-08:00

~a much needed rest~

Lord, I pray that this little one will always have peace filled sleep. You Lord, are the Prince of Peace! Amen

each are precious in His sight

2009-01-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

Our newest additions of the family arrived on September 6, 2008. What an amazing day...exhausting, but truly amazing.
It is with great relief, that in moments like these...giving a hug to a timid little boy... kissing a soft chapped, chocolate cheek...watching big brother hold out his hand in a welcoming shake...watching big sister cry at the first sight of tears of fear - that I lay wearily in the arms of Jesus.
Life is precious...in all circumstances. I am loved...in all circumstances. They are mine forever...in all circumstances.

2008-04-17T10:37:00.000-07:00

Lord,
Open our eyes so that we may see what you want us to see,
Open our ears so that we may hear what you want us to hear,
Clear away the clutter of our minds, so that we may see and hear only You.
Lord, I pray that your gentle nudge will be enough, but Lord move us if we are in Your way.
Amen

2008-04-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

Lord,

Today I come before you with a heavy heart. A heart that longs for my family, a heart that longs for open space, mountains, and spring streams, muddy and swift. Lord, my mind tells me that we are in a good place, but my heart longs to be somewhere else.

Today I come before you with a broken heart. A heart that has a hole in it, left by a loved one that chooses to be distant.

Today I come before you with an anxious heart. A heart that beats erratically when the thoughts of upcoming change invade.

Today I come before you with a bleeding heart. A heart that is called to take in the children that have no place to call home. The children that have no one to call out to when awakened in the dark by bad dreams. The children that need to know they are loved.

Today, I come before you exhausted, overwhelmed, and burdened.

Today, right now, I come before you Lord, and cast all my cares at your feet. I give them to you, because you can handle them. I give them to you because You are God Almighty! Help me Lord, to not reel them back in, to try to fix on my own. May this heart of mine, and all that ails it be forever in your hands. Amen

Cast all your cares upon Him, for he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Glory in the Highest

2007-10-26T10:49:00.000-07:00

Lord, I praise You for...

your gift of blood that you shed for me so many years ago,
the rising sun shining on Pike's Peak in the morning,
my husband, whom I can't imagine a day without,
my precious children that you have blessed me with,
my precious children, whom I do not yet know their names,
the freedom to lift my hands in adoration,
my family that lives so far away, yet so near to my heart,
my friends that have become my family,
the smell of autumn,
the glitter of frost on a blade of grass,
a steaming cup of coffee,
laughter that shakes my belly even when I wish I had no belly to shake,
the love my children show to each other when they think no one is looking,
a tender kiss from my husband,
a quiet moment,
Your word.

Lord, I praise You because You are.

Psalm 150
Praise the LORD! Praise God in his heavenly dwelling; praise him in his mighty heaven! Praise him for his mighty works; praise his unequaled greatness! Praise him with a blast of the trumpet; praise him with the lyre and harp! Praise him with the tambourine and dancing; praise him with stringed instruments and flutes! Praise him with a clash of cymbals; praise him with loud clanging cymbals. Let everything that lives sing praises to the LORD! Praise the LORD!